37 and Forever Fabulous

Two weeks ago, I turned 37.

If you're a Cancerian like me—or maybe you're just someone who gets a little sentimental around birthdays—you'll know that Cancerian’s birthdays aren't just about celebrating. They're about disappearing for a bit, stepping away from the noise, and reflecting on the year (or decade) that's just gone by.

For the past 15 years, I've been incredibly lucky to make that my birthday tradition. Every year, I'd plan a trip around my birthday—not because I wanted a big celebration, but because I wanted to get away from work, spend time with myself, and hit reset.

This year was a little different. Work got in the way, so I couldn't escape on my actual birthday. Instead, I spent the day in back-to-back meetings before ending it with a simple dinner surrounded by some of my closest friends. It wasn't the birthday I had planned, but somewhere between the conversations and the laughter (and maybe 10 Negronis) I realized it was exactly what I needed.

I still managed to steal two weeks in May for an early birthday trip through Georgia and Switzerland, so in a way, I got the best of both worlds—a solo adventure and a reminder that home isn't always a place; sometimes it's the people you choose to spend your birthday with.

It's funny how time works. It feels like yesterday I was celebrating my 24th birthday in Las Vegas. Back then, 37 sounded so... grown up.

Now I'm here, and somehow 40 is only a few years away. When I zoom out, though, I realize just how much life has happened between those birthdays.

My 20s were about proving myself. Proving that I was good enough. Smart enough. Capable enough. They were filled with chasing opportunities, taking risks, changing careers, moving countries, making mistakes, saying yes before I felt ready, being completely broke but somehow still ending up in Mallorca because I thought, oh well..I’ll figure it out.

Looking back, I probably had no idea what I was doing most of the time. But somehow, everything worked out the way it was supposed to. Over the past decade, I've changed jobs, moved countries, met incredible people, drifted away from others, fallen in love, had my heart broken, built a career I'm genuinely proud of, and—perhaps most importantly—built a life outside of work.

I also remember exactly where I was when I turned 30. New York City. It was the middle of summer, and while everyone says your 30s are when life begins, mine started with an ending.

Around that time, I had to say goodbye to someone I loved. Looking back now, I think I was also saying goodbye to an older version of myself. I didn't realize it then, but most of my 30s would be spent learning how to navigate this new version of me. Unlearning and relearning lots of things in life. Letting go of things that no longer fit. Growing into someone who values peace more than proving, depth more than appearances, and fulfillment over validation.

If my 20s were about building a career, my 30s have been about building a life. Not a perfect one. Just one that feels like mine. Still hustling here and there, and believe me…the biggest challenge here is learning how to be soft, to slow down.

So before I get any closer to 40, here are a few things my 30s have taught me.

1. A fulfilling career is wonderful. So is building a life you’re excited to return to after work.

I've always been ambitious. I genuinely love my job, and I'm proud of the career I've built. But I realized that work is only one part of who I am.

I'm also someone who loves traveling, building my passion projects, discovering new cafés, listening to music, playing tennis, pole dancing, and planning my next adventure.

The older I get, the more grateful I am that my life doesn't begin and end with work.

Your job is something you do. It shouldn't be the only interesting thing about you.Build a life and maybe passion projects you're excited to return to after work—because one day you'll leave the job, but the life you've built outside of it is what stays.

2. Stop falling in love with the idea of people.

Potential isn't a relationship and chemistry isn't compatibility.

I've learned to value safety over butterflies. Consistency over grand gestures. Reliability over uncertainty. Peace over drama. Joy over chasing.

The right people don't leave you guessing where you stand. They choose you. They show up. They consider you.

Love should feel like coming home, not solving a puzzle.

3. Consistency is underrated.

Whether it's your health, career, finances, or relationships, the biggest changes rarely come from dramatic moments. They come from showing up everyday…consistently, even if you don’t feel like going, you just have to. From sports to checking in on a friend, from building personal projects to self-care. The boring things are usually the things that change your life.

4. Boundaries aren't selfish.

I used to think saying yes made me a better friend. Now I know saying no at the right time makes me a healthier one.

Not everyone will show up the way you do—and that's okay.

What's not okay is abandoning yourself to keep a relationship alive. Protecting your peace isn't selfish. It's necessary.

Every yes is a no to something else.

Every commitment costs time.

Every relationship requires energy.

The older I get, the more intentional I become about where I spend all three.

5. Some friendships are only meant for a season.

This one was hard.

I'm someone who loves deeply. Once you're in my circle, I'll celebrate your wins, defend you when you're not in the room, and do everything I can to show up for you. But I've also learned that people grow.

Sometimes you outgrow each other. Or the conversations don't excite you anymore.

Sometimes you realize you've been carrying the friendship on your own.

And sometimes, letting go is an act of love—for both people.

6. …and let people make plans.

This sounds small, but it changed my relationships.

I stopped feeling like I had to organize everything.

I stopped being the only one checking in.

The only one making reservations.

The only one asking, "When are we catching up?"

People who want to be in your life usually find ways to be.

Reciprocity is attractive, baby!

7. Confidence isn't always loud. And you don't need everyone to like you.

When I was younger, I thought confidence meant having all the answers.

Now I think confidence is much quieter.

It's trusting yourself. Saying no without feeling guilty. Walking away from people and situations that aren't right for you.

It's not feeling the need to prove yourself every time you walk into a room.

I've also stopped trying to be liked by everyone.

Not everyone will understand you, choose you, or see your value—and that's okay.

The people who are meant to be in your life won't need convincing. They'll show up, make an effort, and appreciate you for who you are.

The older I get, the more I realize that peace is worth so much more than approval.

8. Joy deserves to be part of the plan.

For years, I thought happiness would arrive after the next milestone.

After the promotion. After the move. After I figured everything out.

Now I know joy isn't something you earn. It's something you intentionally create.

9. You don't have to have everything figured out.

Looking back, almost none of the best things in my life happened according to plan. The jobs. The people. The cities.

The opportunities. Life has a funny way of working out when you stay open.

I did spend some time grieving the person I thought I'd be by 37. In my head, I imagined I'd be living in New York City, working for a media company, or maybe even performing for Cirque du Soleil.

None of that happened. At least, not yet.

I made peace with the fact that life doesn't have to look exactly how I imagined it would. Maybe I won't become everything my 20-something self dreamed of. At the end of the day, if I can live a meaningful life, help people along the way, keep growing, and go to bed knowing I genuinely like the life I've built—that's more than enough for me.

I've learned that real success isn't always about the next title, promotion, or milestone. Sometimes, it's simply waking up on an ordinary Tuesday and realizing you wouldn't trade your life with anyone else's. Not because it's perfect.

But because it feels right for you.

In Samantha Jones’ voice, if there's one thing my 30s have taught me, it's to choose yourself..over and over again. Stay curious, keep saying yes to new adventures, and trust that life usually unfolds in ways I never could have planned.

Here's to getting … more fabulous.

To building a life that feels like home. Collecting more stories than things. And to always having another trip and growth to look forward to.